Scores below!
- Self awareness - 18
- internalized moral perspective - 15
- balanced processing - 19
- relational transparency - 15
Self awareness and balanced processing are highest. I'm pretty reflective of my actions and interactions with others and often think about interactions I've had with others and how they could have been better. I tend to be very inclusive when I'm thinking through problems and try to work out how other individuals or teams will be affected by the decisions I make. I try to gather as much information as I can which leads to more balanced processing. I scored lowest (although still relatively high, I think) on Internalized Moral Perspective and relational transparency. For both of them, there were 1 or 2 questions that I gave myself a 3 on.
What did I learn?
I scored myself a 3 on the question "I rarely present a "false" front to others," part of the relational transparency grouping. I think there might be some recency bias in this one because I don't know that I would have scored this low 2 years ago. Also, I think with most people I do present my true self, but a few interactions that I've had recently with a few specific people have forced me to put up some barriers and "go along to get along." I think it also relates to the other question I scored myself a 3 on, "Other people know where I stand on controversial issues." This is a two-parter. First, because I take time to include others opinions in my decision making, I often don't know exactly where I stand on controversial issues. I'm really good at seeing multiple points of view, but bad at picking my own point of view. Second, I don't embrace conflict and try to avoid it. I'm a peacemaker and sometimes opt for other people's positions over my own if I see it's causing conflict.
What modifications will I make?
I can see a few things that could help me:
- Practice choosing courage. I'm thinking of exposure therapy as I write this. Confront conflict head-on and embrace the discomfort.
- Start talking more openly with the specific people who are my current hurdles.
Rob, I always look forward to your titles! Your response reminds me of the saying, "If you're too open-minded, your brains may fall out." You did an excellent job unpacking your scores, especially your awareness that you may be slightly modifying your authenticity due to a few specific people whom you have had to. This is entirely natural, and in a perfect work setting, we all would be completely authentic with one another. But this isn't heaven, so we must opt for those we can be our authentic selves with and realize there may be some we cannot. And I hear you on the peace-maker point and can relate. You can thread this needle better every year as you grow in your leadership voice, convictions, and seasoning. Great job with this!
Tracey
